MICROSOFT DEVELOPING WINDOWS BSD

It has come to our attention that Microsoft may have given up on beating the LINUX/UNIX crowd and decided to join them. The firm that previously was known only for closed-source proprietary software is now allegedly working on a BSD UNIX based OS which will be called Windows BSD.

“We saw how well Mac OS X, worked,” said a Microsoft employee spoke to us over drinks at a Redmond area bar, “and we wanted it. After all, Windows began as an unauthorized clone of the Macintosh operating system. When someone else has something good, we steal it.”

He then went on to explain that Microsoft once sold it’s own version of UNIX, which was called XENIX. It was dropped because Microsoft could not exclusively own it, and all resources that had been devoted to it were diverted to Windows NT. XENIX became a product of the Santa Cruz Organization (SCO).

When asked why Microsoft was now planning to use BSD, rather than the SCO vein of UNIX it had used before, he told me, “Bill Gates really covets anything Steve Jobs has, and he has a BSD based system, so we need one too! Everyone thinks that the marketing guys can convince customers that Windows BSD is the only UNIX done right, and the other ones will just hose up your computer. They are also considering making dot net web services available only to licensed Windows BSD users."

We asked him why he would reveal such information in a public place like a bar, pointing out that Microsoft might find out, and fire him. He replied, “I have been there for years, and I am still just a temp! They deserve to have their secrets revealed for using perma-temps. It’s exploitation!”

He also pointed out that Hotmail, and all of Microsoft’s web sites run on BSD UNIX. Even the site that Unisys put up to bash UNIX, and promote their main frames running Windows ran BSD, until that hypocrisy made them a laughing stock. When they switched the site to Windows, It crashed, and was down for a long time.

Normally, something overheard from the bloke in the pub would not be newsworthy, but this is big. You read it here first.

HOME