FLESH EATING TERMITES
CAMPERS AT RED RIVER GORGE
A new strain of termites, not the
normal wood eating variety, but flesh eating termites, has been discovered at
Red River Gorge. Dry Ridge Kentucky native, James "DogStar" Rattley
found this out in very painful fashion when they invaded his campsite.
dude told me when I was setting up my tent that I had better move. There was an
old dead tree right by there, and he told me there would be bugs. I laughed him
off. It's the great outdoors, so of course there will be some bugs, man, but
then those termites showed up in about five minutes. They didn't touch the
firewood, but they jumped me and my pal Moonie and started biting. They broke
the skin, and drew blood! We ran, but Moonie tripped on a tree limb that fell,
and they swarmed on him!"
Bertram "Moonie" Smith was completely
devoured by the ravenous swarm of insects. Nothing but bones remained behind.
How widespread this new variety of termite has gotten is not yet known, but
their point of origin seems to be near Red River Gorge. Dr. Thomas Natchez of
The Center for the Institute of Studies had this to say about the
phenomenon. "Years of unregulated chemical dumping probably mutated the
genes of the termites. That alone did not create this problem. New Dawn Biotech
built a series of greenhouses here as a proving ground for a genetically
engineered meat that grows on trees. (CLICK HERE FOR THAT
STORY) They had the best of intentions: Producing meat without cruelty to
animals, but when some of the trees died, they attracted these termites, and
they discovered that they like flesh and blood better than wood!"
New Dawn Biotech's entire plantation was soon
gone, and the company went to a great effort to cover it up, but Dr. Natchez
found out, and contacted THE UNCOVEROR. We thought something was bound to go
wrong with Treemeat, and now it has!
Several insecticide experts, Including
representatives from the five largest commercial exterminators in the world have
been called in to deal with these new termites. They are immune to all
insecticides that have been tested so far, and are not attracted to conventional
termite baits. "This may be the worst insect related disaster since
Africanized or 'Killer' bees!" says Dr. Jorge Ramirez, Chemical engineer at
Brandine University. "If we can't find a solution soon, I don't know what
can save this popular tourist area, and they may have already spread!"
We will keep you posted as this story develops.
Once again, a cover up has been thwarted by THE UNCOVEROR. You found out the
easy way, unlike DogStar and Moonie.