SASKRA NOT EXTINCT. SURVIVING SPECIMEN FOUND AND CLONED.
By Ben Radstein, Staff Reporter
previously reported that Saskra Root, one of
the "natural ingredients" of Coca-Cola was lost forever due to the extinction of
Saskra Fortissima, the plant it came from. Now, a botanist has discovered a
small patch of it in a Bolivian jungle, and successfully grown clones. In an Uncoveror Exclusive, I was able to interview him. He has asked me not to reveal
his real name or his location, so I will call him "George"
Radstein: You claim that the lost ingredient for
making the real Coca-Cola we all remember from youth is not gone after all. You
found some and cloned it when all previous attempts had failed. Could you tell me more?
"George": Yes, a colleague of mine and I
were exploring the jungles of Peru and Bolivia. He was hoping to study native
tribes, and I indigenous fauna. We did find a native tribe and bonded with them
rather well. On a gathering trip with some of the tribal women, we observed them
collecting Coca and
another plant growing with it. I discovered that they use
the roots of this plant and Coca leaves to brew a kind of beverage. Though it was
not very sweet, it did remind me of Coke from the old days when it tasted so
much better than it does now. I was familiar with your previous report, and
suspected at once that I had discovered what might be the last remaining Saskra
Fortissima on earth. I smuggled a sample of it out of the jungle along with some
Coca, since Saskra doesn't seem to ever grow without it. Once I got back to my
lab, I confirmed what I had suspected. I had Saskra. It was not extinct after
Radstein: That is remarkable! Why all the secrecy?
"George": I cannot disclose my name or location
because I am growing Coca. That is illegal and the penalties are severe, so I need to hide my research. If a scientific
exemption to the law were passed, I could stop being secretive, but I cannot
stand to stay completely silent. That is why I contacted you.
Radstein: Have you tried to find an alternative to
using actual Coca plants?
"George": Yes, and so has every researcher before
me. It just does not work. Any attempt to clone Saskra without
a solution of Coca extractives failed. Any
attempt to grow the new plants cloning produced without Coca beside them failed. They just withered and died. I
have discovered that every Saskra plant needs to share soil with three or four
Coca to grow. There is just no other way.
Radstein: Have you contacted Coca-Cola about your
"George": Not yet. I don't have enough to make it
commercially viable. I will let them know when I can produce enough for them to
use. That will require a place where Coca can safely be cultivated, but there is
no such place at this time. Until then, my research will remain underground. Only you
and two of my colleagues know about it, and no one else can know just who or
where I am until the time is right. I promise that when that time comes, you
will get the scoop.
There you have it. A botanist has re-discovered and
successfully cloned the secret ingredient in "The Real Thing". One day, the Coke
we all remember may rise from the ashes like the Phoenix in mythology.