Revealing the things they don't want you to know.
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AN OPEN LETTER TO STAN KROENKE
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Dear
Mr. Kroenke;
ELF ON THE SHELF SELLS SURVEILLANCE STATE TO OUR KIDS
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There
is a recently invented trend its pitchmen hope to make a tradition, The Elf on
the Shelf. He is a scout who will report back to Santa Claus whether children
have been naughty or nice. Is this just an innocuous little add-on to the legend
of St. Nicholas? Hardly! The Elf on the Shelf is designed to make current and
future generations of American children used to being watched at all times. It
is a plot from Big Brother to make the surveillance state seem normal.
GOOGLE BUILDING ARMY OF KILLER ROBOTS
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Google's
alleged motto is "Don't be evil." They would have us believe that they are the
good guys, and don't intend to do any harm. I don't believe this hollow slogan.
They must be saying that with fingers crossed behind their backs, as a recent
patent filing reveals a plot that is evil on par with any Hollywood or comic
book madman, hell-bent on world domination ... Google has been obsessed with
robotics in recent years, buying out companies like Boston Dynamics, the makers
of the BigDog and Atlas robots, and any patent they can find related to robots.
Google has even started a program where inventors who want to sell their patents
can easily pitch them called the patent purchase promotion.
NEW MICROSOFT BROWSER HAS AN OFFICIAL NAME
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By
now, everyone has heard or read that Microsoft has given up on their old web
browser, Internet Explorer, and a replacement built from scratch has been in the
works. In development, the new tool intended for rollout with Windows 10 has
been know by the code name, Spartan. Many doubted that the final version would
be called that, and indeed it is not. The company officially announced to day
that the new browser is called Microsoft Charade.
SURVEY SHOWS THOSE AVOIDING GLUTEN DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS |
CAPE COMEDY IS A CRIME THRILLER WITH MANY TWISTS AND TURNS
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I recently read a novel entitled Cape Comedy by Marc Weingarten,
a comedian and comedy club owner. With his insider knowledge of the
industry, he has written a crime thriller told from the perspective of the janitor
at a comedy club known only as "Mr. Sweeps".
JESSE VENTURA IS NOT AS OFF THE GRID AS HE THINKS Recently, Former Minnesota Governor and pro wrestler Jesse Ventura appeared on CNBC to promote his TV show. He revealed that he is living
"off the grid" to hide from the drones. Ventura said that he is in an undisclosed location in Mexico, and constantly on the move so the drones
can never find him. According to my source, they can still track him.
"He is not effectively hidden at all. Ventura may believe he is invisible
to surveillance, but every time he uploads his TV show to the satellite, there is a chance that the NSA, FBI, CIA or whoever controls the drones
could triangulate his location based on the signal. He really has no hope of ever being hidden if they were able to put tracking dust on him." |
KIM JONG UN ATTACKS SANTA CLAUS
Read More |
North Korea has been up to no good this year. Under orders from their evil
dictator Kim Jong Un, and using information hackers stole from NORAD's Santa
tracking, they tried to shoot down Saint Nicholas.
THANKSGIVING PARADE RENAMED BLACK FRIDAY PARADE
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On
the 150th anniversary of Thanksgiving, we may have witnessed the final Macy's
Thanksgiving Day Parade. Starting in 2014, it will be called the Macy's Black
Friday Parade. This came as a shock to me, so I called repeatedly until I could
get a representative of the company to talk about it.
MICROSOFT TO BURY SURFACE TABLETS IN DESERT
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After the humiliation of a 900 million dollar write down and the ousting of their former CEO,
Steve Ballmer, Microsoft has released the second generation of their Surface RT and Surface Pro tablets.
This leaves Redmond with the problem of what to do with millions of leftover first generation hardware.
AREA 51 DECLASSIFICATION IS NO BIG DEAL
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UFO
believers were greatly encouraged when the US government finally declassified
Area 51. Their excitement was premature. All that Washington is really admitting
is that the place exists. They showed a map that calls it by that name. There
have been no revelations about anything remotely extra-terrestrial taking place
at the facility. The government insists that the U2 and later spy planes, as
well as stealth planes and early drones, were all that was based there. No
little green or grey men. No flying saucers.
DARK SIDE OF THE MOON VISIBLE IN AUGUST
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In an incredibly rare celestial event called a lunar reversal, the opposite side of the moon, or “dark side” as it is often called,
will become briefly visible. It will directly face us for the full moon on August 20. “This has not happened since medieval times,"
says Dr. Ivan Ivanovich, a former Soviet scientist now with NASA. "Up to now, only a few astronauts and cosmonauts have seen what the other side of our moon looks like with their own eyes. For the rest of us,
pictures like the one here have been all there is. That is about to change, though not for long."
BURGER KING TO INTRODUCE WHOPPER SENIOR
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You may have heard of the Whopper and the Whopper Junior,
but a new sandwich is on the horizon at the nation's number three burger chain,
one they hope could get them back into the number two position ahead of rival,
Wendy's. They may even have their sights on industry leader, McDonald's. Unlike
their competitors under the golden arches, Burger King says they will target
folks in their golden ages.
UNRESTFUL SPIRITS CAUSED SUPER BOWL POWER OUTAGE
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The NFL, Management of the Superdome, and New Orleans' electricity provider, Entergy have not delivered a definitive answer to why the power went out during Super Bowl XLVII, but I have heard from someone who has an explanation.
Renowned New Orleans psychic, Madam Sophia LaRoque says that ghosts are responsible.
WINDOWS 8 PICTURE PASSWORDS HACKED
Microsoft has heavily advertised a new feature for signing into their new touch screen friendly OS,
Windows 8. They call it picture passwords. Instead of typing something, you are presented a pre-chosen picture,
and you make finger gestures on it. This might come in handy when you don't have a keyboard, but I have uncovered a problem.
Picture passwords are hackable. Read More |
NEW GOOGLE TECHNOLOGY WILL READ MINDS
Read More |
Do
you ever want to search for something, but aren't sure how to put it into words?
Do Google, Yahoo and Bing spit back off-topic junk every time you try? Google
thinks they will have a solution for this problem by around 2015. Their system,
if it works, will be able to directly interface the human brain, so you don't
have to put it into words.
DO NOT LEGITIMIZE "INFOTAIMENT"
There is a commercial airing right now for the Chevrolet Malibu that is so
offensive, that I want to throw my shoes at the TV every time I see it. Why? The
use of the word, "infotainment". This word is a pejorative describing the
content free garbage that the tabloid press and the idiot box pass off as news,
not my car stereo with a GPS navigation system or a hands free system for my cell phone crammed into it. Stop saying that.
Read More |
ANDROID TABLETS ARE A PAIN
Imagine if this garbage were going on in Windows PCs... 90 percent of new PCs sold would be returned, and their former owners would swear off computers forever. Read More |
I have had an idea
for a while now. I need an Android tablet. Apple i-Pads
don't do flash, so I wouldn't have the whole Internet, and besides, I'm not
a hipster. I can't turn a laptop sideways to read a book or a magazine. That is a
pain. An Android tablet seemed like the answer.
REBUILD BRENT SPENCE WITH CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP
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I was recently in Cincinnati covering the fallout over the
fight between the University of Cincinnati and Xavier men's basketball teams,
and learned about the plight of the Brent Spence Bridge. In case you didn't
know, this behemoth double-decker span carries Interstate 71 and Interstate 75
across the Ohio River between Cincinnati and Covington, Kentucky. Though it was
considered a marvel of modern engineering when it was built, it has long carried a
lot more traffic than it was ever intended to, and is aging
badly. This bridge needs to be replaced, but a lack of funding has prevented it
from happening.
Interstate 71 runs from Cleveland to Louisville, and Interstate 75 runs from the
Canadian border to Key West. The country cannot afford to have these highways
severed in the middle of their courses.
JUST MAKE SOME CHEESE AND PEPPERONI
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I took my grandkids to a pizza buffet the other day, and found nothing they would eat and scant little I would.
It blows my mind how something that should be stupidly simple was botched so
completely. What kind of pizza do little kids eat? Plain cheese. What kind of
pizza do bigger kids and most adults prefer? Pepperoni. Neither of these were
available when we arrived. There was one with no sauce, and some garden
vegetables. There was one with barbecue sauce and chicken. There were two dessert
pizzas, one with a suspicious white sauce, and even one with potatoes on it. I
kid you not, potatoes on a pizza!
TIME TO UPDATE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCESince it was first written by the Reverend Francis Bellamy in 1892,
the Pledge Of Allegiance has been a great way for good Americans to show their devotion to this blessed nation.
He wrote it to commemorate the four hundredth anniversary of Columbus' discovery, which made our nation's
founding possible. The Pledge has also been a highly effective tool for weeding out undesirables.
The original wording was I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation,
indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. This simple and clear loyalty oath was enough to weed out
unrepentant confederates who would divide the country again, as they believed in a voluntary confederation
of sovereign states that could secede if they so chose, not one nation, indivisible... |
PERSON OF INTEREST IS PROPAGANDA FOR BIG BROTHER
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The
government has cameras everywhere, and is watching all the time. We are all
under surveillance.
Everything we do is seen and everything we say is heard. Does this sound like
the description of a place you want to live, or a frightening dystopia? The
people behind the TV show, Person Of Interest want you to like this idea, and
are producing the show for the express purpose of selling it to you. Why would
they do such a thing? Because the government is paying them to.
WHAT IS THE CLOUD?
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Every day, at least one salesman gets through my call screening somehow trying to sell me "the cloud".
It is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and without it my company is a dinosaur. That is what they always tell me.
MADAME SOPHIA LAROQUE REPUDIATES NEW ZODIAC
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I was
curious about the "New Zodiac" and "New Astrology" that has the Internet buzzing
lately. Though my managing Editor, M. Grant Winston laughed at me, and I had to
plead with him to do this story, I got it done. I went to New Orleans to ask
famous seer, Madame Sophia LaRoque what she thought.
WAL-MART WANTS TO BANKRUPT THE GIRL SCOUTS Do
you look forward every year to Girl Scout Cookies? I know I do. Tagalongs and
especially Thin Mints are irresistibly delicious. I must have them! When some
people jokingly refer to Thin Mints as cookie crack, I get it. Wal-Mart is now
making rip-offs of those two great cookie recipes. They will be sold under the
Great Value line, and will probably be cheaper than the genuine article. Buy
them, and the money goes to an evil mega-corporation sending jobs to China, and
selling American consumers dangerous and lead-tainted Chinese products, not to a
charitable organization that has helped raise our daughters to be good citizens
for generations.Read More |
HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS CONFUSED ABOUT MOON LANDING A
poll was recently taken just before the end of the past school year about the
upcoming fortieth anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. I met a student who
thought he knew about it, and even gave a presentation to his class. He repeated
the presentation for me...
"The Moon Landing. Back in the hippie days of the sixties, not
everyone was protesting and getting high. We actually put two men on the moon.
That was real cool!...Their names were Stretch Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear." |
MAN WINS NCAA OFFICE POOL WITH HELP FROM PSYCHIC"After reading about her predictions for the year 2008", said Steve, "I had to try asking her to fill out my tournament bracket. She was reluctant at first, but finally agreed at a fee much higher than she usually charges. Although I paid her a lot, it was much less than what I won in the office pool. It really blew everyone's mind at the office. I even got an extra payoff from the boss who bet that no one could fill out a bracket with every single game right." |
