cartoon detective

THE UNCOVEROR
Revealing the things they don't want you to know.
It's the real news!     Add to My Yahoo!  Add to Google
Current Sponsor Messages: 

Forex Trading

Editor's Recommended Links:

The Uncoveror Supports The Oatmeal's call for a Tesla Museum

Stop ACTA!

Save The Internet!

HumorVolcano.com

Atlanta Center for Policy Analysis

Unconfirmed Sources

Computer Wizard

Get a .tk domain!

Useful Sites from crosslink builder

Our Current Headlines:

Editorial: NET NEUTRALITY FOES WANT TO DOUBLE DIP

Editorial: WHY MITCH MCCONNELL MUST GO

XP UPDATES ON APRIL 9. WERE THEY JUST BLOWING SMOKE?

UPDATE: WANT MARCH MADNESS? BETTER HAVE CABLE.

JESSE VENTURA IS NOT AS OFF THE GRID AS HE THINKS

KIM JONG UN ATTACKS SANTA CLAUS

THANKSGIVING PARADE RENAMED BLACK FRIDAY PARADE

MICROSOFT TO BURY SURFACE TABLETS IN DESERT

Guest Writer: OBAMA BUYS FLIP_FLOPS IN PREPARATION FOR ATTACK

Guest Writer: GO MAD THEN GET MADDERER...

AREA 51 DECLASSIFICATION NO BIG DEAL

DARK SIDE OF THE MOON VISIBLE IN AUGUST

UPDATED:IS SONICWALL BLACKLISTING YOUR WEBSITE

BURGER KING TO INTRODUCE WHOPPER SENIOR

UNRESTFUL SPIRITS CAUSED SUPER BOWL POWER OUTAGE

WINDOWS 8 PICTURE PASSWORDS HACKED

NEW GOOGLE TECHNOLOGY WILL READ MINDS

DO NOT LEGITIMIZE "INFOTAINMENT"

JESUS PEZ DISPENSER IS OFFENSIVE

ANDROID TABLETS ARE A PAIN

NBC TO AIR PORN OLYMPICS

REBUILD BRENT SPENCE WITH CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP

PRETENDERS CALL THEMSELVES CHAMPIONS AGAIN

JUST MAKE SOME CHEESE AND PEPPERONI

TIME TO UPDATE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

PERSON OF INTEREST IS PROPAGANDA FOR BIG BROTHER

NEW POST OFFICE SLOGAN LEAVES US SCRATCHING OUR HEADS

WHAT IS THE CLOUD?

HURRICANE BEARING DOWN ON US MAINLAND. IS OBAMA TO BLAME?

"TOM TAGGER" DEFACING COVINGTON

MORE BIZARRE HAPPENINGS AT RED RIVER GORGE

MADAME SOPHIA LAROQUE REPUDIATES NEW ZODIAC

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK CHANGING THEIR NAME

NO CABLE TV? NO BOWL GAMES FOR YOU

LOSING TEAM CALLS THEMSELVES CHAMPIONS

MCDONALDS BECOMING INCREASINGLY UNFRIENDLY TO THE POOR

PARANOID TEABAGGERS WON'T ANSWER CENSUS

RAMA HO LAMA SAYS ICELAND MUST SACRIFICE

DON'T BLAME IT ALL ON TIGER WOODS AND JESSE JAMES.

THE SUPREME COURT HAS KILLED DEMOCRACY

IS THE NFL RIGGED?

VINCE MCMAHON MAKES ELIZABETH LAMBERT AN OFFER

WAL-MART WANTS TO BANKRUPT THE GIRL SCOUTS

HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS CONFUSED ABOUT MOON LANDING

Guest Writer: Super Fan

BUSH DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT IN IRAN

Guest Writer: HE LIKES ME -- DOESN'T HE?

Guest Writer: FIRST ENCOUNTERS -- NOT A TIME FOR FAIRY TALES

MAN WINS NCAA OFFICE POOL WITH HELP FROM PSYCHIC

EMERGENCY SERVICES ARE NOT IMPORTANT, THE IDIOT BOX IS

OLIVER BOOTH IS A LOAD OF LAUGHS

Guest Writer: RESOLUTIONS,THEY'RE NOT JUST FOR THE OTHER GUY

Guest Writer: DIVAS,THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME

WHITE NOISE GENERATORS MAKING BROWN NOTE

Guest Writer: LONG JOHN SILVER FOR PRESIDENT

Guest Writer: WHICH CANDIDATE WOULD MAKE A BETTER PIRATE?

NUCLEAR LIGHT BULBS TO MAKE CF OBSOLETE

SIX DEGREES OF BALONEY

Guest Writer: LAWYERS AND PIRATES

Guest Writer: SOMALIA, LONG JOHN SILVER AND THE U.N.

ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES TO BECOME A BROADWAY MUSICAL

POLL FINDS MAJORITY OF AMERICANS THINK ELECTORAL COLLEGE IS A SCHOOL

NEW AIRPORT SCANNERS ALLOW TSA PERVERTS TO SEE US AU NATURAL

YET ANOTHER MARS PROBE HOAX

WHO IS THE IDIOT WHO CAME UP WITH GLOSSY SCREENS?

MOTHER'S DAY IS NOT WIVES DAY

MCCAIN ANNOUNCES HIS RUNNING MATE: DICK CHENEY

EDITORIAL: HANDICAPPED SHOPPING CARTS ARE BEING ABUSED

WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! KILLER ASTEROID TO HIT EARTH IN 2036

NEW YORK GIANTS ARE THE CHEATER DEFEATERS

RELIGIOUS BELIEFS ON DISPLAY AT REPUBLICAN DEBATE

MADAME LAROQUE'S PSYCHIC PREDICTIONS UNSEALED

CONGRESS BARS NASA FROM MARS MISSIONS

CHINA'S WAR ON US WITHOUT FIRING A SHOT

PARIS HILTON'S RELEASE SADDENS AUTHOR OF "CRUCIFY PARIS HILTON" PETITION

NEW HOST OF "THE PRICE IS RIGHT" GILBERT GOTTFRIED

ACADEMY'S SNOOTY SNOBS SNUB SNAKES

BRITNEY SPEARS HAS COOTIES

CINCINNATI BENGALS UNVEIL NEW UNIFORMS

GERALDO RIVERA TO OPEN SADDAM HUSSEIN'S VAULTS

THE UNCOVEROR HAS BEEN JOE JOBBED

REPUBLICAN PLAYBOOK STOLEN FROM WHITEHOUSE

PROFESSOR WOULD MOVE CHRISTMAS

ELMO BUSTED FOR SMUGGLING METH

ED E. DRUCKMAN SAYS WHAT OTHERS WON'T

STOP THE RIGHT WING WAR ON HALLOWEEN

BUSH DECLARES SEPTEMBER 25 THROUGH 28 CUBIC TIME DAY

ICE GEYSERS ON MARS OR ZHTI TI KOFFT EXHAUST VENTS?

TONY SNOW EXPLAINS WHY IRAQ IS NOT A CIVIL WAR

TRIX RABBIT 1958-2006

TRUSTED COMPUTING IS A PLOT BY CHINESE SPIES

BUSH WILL DISPATCH NATIONAL GUARD TO STOP GAY MARRIAGE

UNCOVEROR EXCLUSIVE: SASKRA NOT EXTINCT. SURVIVING SPECIMEN FOUND AND CLONED.

NEW NINTENDO PORTABLE TO BE CALLED "WEEWII"

FREE SECOND DIP LEADS TO VIOLENCE AT ICE CREAM PARLOR

AMERICAN IDOL RIGGED! VOTES COUNTED ON DIEBOLD HARDWARE.

BUSH VISITS INDIA AND PAKISTAN. GREETS INDIAN PRIME MINISTER WITH "HOW KEMOSABE".

NEW SPORT OF BOBSLED CURLING ENDS DISASTROUSLY

ANGRY ABOUT UNSUCCESSFUL HUNT, CHENEY SHOOTS FRIEND.

SEVEN DEAD AND DOZENS INJURED IN BLACK FRIDAY RIOTS

THE CASE AGAINST INTELLIGENT DESIGN

STAR TREK FANS DISAPPOINTED IN NEW FOX SHOW "BONES"

EDITORIAL: ANGELS PAUL BYRD THROWING SPITBALLS

EDITORIAL: DOES NANCY ZIMPHER WANT A WHITER UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI?

AN XMAS CARD FROM UNCOVEROR TO FARK

UPDATED! WHAT WERE THE SUPREME COURT THINKING?

THAT WAS NO VIRUS

PARIS HILTON DITCHES "THAT STUPID DOG"

EDITORIAL: COPYRIGHT LAWYERS BULLYING THE UNCOVEROR

CANADA AND DENMARK AT THE BRINK OF WAR

PIRATE'S TREASURE HIDDEN IN CINCINNATI PARK

BUSH WILL NOMINATE JUDGE WAPNER TO SUPREME COURT

"PERVERTO" GONZALES STRIPS LADY JUSTICE

LIFE COACHES ASSEMBLING ARMY OF "MANCHURIAN CANDIDATES"

NEW USDA PYRAMID SCHEME WILL RUIN OUR HEALTH

THE ROBOTIC SUBWAYMEN: ROBOTS MAKING MUSIC

PRINCE CHARLES REGRETS NOT BEING ABLE TO KILL REPORTERS

ALABAMA FRIED CHICKEN?

PRESIDENT BUSH DROPS FIRST DOG BARNEY

MINIATURE COWS: AMERICA'S LATEST PET CRAZE

About The Uncoveror

Older Stories Archive

For free printable copies of our newsletter, Click here.

JESSE VENTURA IS NOT AS OFF THE GRID AS HE THINKS

Recently, Former Minnesota Governor and pro wrestler Jesse Ventura appeared on CNBC to promote his TV show. He revealed that he is living "off the grid" to hide from the drones. Ventura said that he is in an undisclosed location in Mexico, and constantly on the move so the drones can never find him. According to my source, they can still track him.
"He is not effectively hidden at all. Ventura may believe he is invisible to surveillance, but every time he uploads his TV show to the satellite, there is a chance that the NSA, FBI, CIA or whoever controls the drones could triangulate his location based on the signal. He really has no hope of ever being hidden if they were able to put tracking dust on him."
Read More

KIM JONG UN ATTACKS SANTA CLAUS

North Korea has been up to no good this year. Under orders from their evil dictator Kim Jong Un, and using information hackers stole from NORAD's Santa tracking, they tried to shoot down Saint Nicholas.
... Kim Jong Un has banned the jolly old elf from North Korea, and wanted to stop Santa from bringing joy to the rest of the world's children as well. Thanks to the fact that he knows who's naughty and nice, Santa was not surprised by the portly despot's evil scheme.
Read More

THANKSGIVING PARADE RENAMED BLACK FRIDAY PARADE

On the 150th anniversary of Thanksgiving, we may have witnessed the final Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Starting in 2014, it will be called the Macy's Black Friday Parade. This came as a shock to me, so I called repeatedly until I could get a representative of the company to talk about it.
I eventually reached Tiffany Ashley, a company spokesperson. When I asked her why the retail industry has become so casual about ruining a traditional family holiday, she told me "Thanksgiving is so yesterday! It is not something most people do any more, and was just a pre-Christmas anyhow. Better to use that day to be more ready for the real thing.
...Macy's has been the leader in opening Thursday night so bargain hunters can beat Friday morning shoppers the punch, and score the good loot that will be gone by the morning.
Read More

MICROSOFT TO BURY SURFACE TABLETS IN DESERT

After the humiliation of a 900 million dollar write down and the ousting of their former CEO, Steve Ballmer, Microsoft has released the second generation of their Surface RT and Surface Pro tablets. This leaves Redmond with the problem of what to do with millions of leftover first generation hardware.
"Don't expect this to be widely publicized," my source told me. "Electronics are often not the most environmentally friendly thing to be putting into the ground, so they hope to do this quietly, but putting them into the ground is exactly what they have planned." Read More

AREA 51 DECLASSIFICATION IS NO BIG DEAL

UFO believers were greatly encouraged when the US government finally declassified Area 51. Their excitement was premature. All that Washington is really admitting is that the place exists. They showed a map that calls it by that name. There have been no revelations about anything remotely extra-terrestrial taking place at the facility. The government insists that the U2 and later spy planes, as well as stealth planes and early drones, were all that was based there. No little green or grey men. No flying saucers.
Rumors about what was hidden in Area 51 included the wreckage of the Roswell UFO, actual live alien beings, things reverse engineered from captured alien technologies that were moving our technology centuries ahead in mere years, and even the key to unlimited energy. The Air Force, NASA, politicians in Washington and anyone in authority scoff at these notions, but conspiracy theorists insist that they are active participants in a cover-up, or are just ignorant.  Read More

DARK SIDE OF THE MOON VISIBLE IN AUGUST

In an incredibly rare celestial event called a lunar reversal, the opposite side of the moon, or “dark side” as it is often called, will become briefly visible. It will directly face us for the full moon on August 20. “This has not happened since medieval times," says Dr. Ivan Ivanovich, a former Soviet scientist now with NASA. "Up to now, only a few astronauts and cosmonauts have seen what the other side of our moon looks like with their own eyes. For the rest of us, pictures like the one here have been all there is. That is about to change, though not for long."
Dr. Ivanovich explained that as our solar system makes its closest approach to the core of the Milky Way Galaxy, the orbits and rotations of small objects like moons and dwarf planets can be altered. Unusual tidal activity is also expected to occur starting in the second week of the eighth month, as our natural satellite's orbit temporarily becomes less elliptical.  Read More

BURGER KING TO INTRODUCE WHOPPER SENIOR

You may have heard of the Whopper and the Whopper Junior, but a new sandwich is on the horizon at the nation's number three burger chain, one they hope could get them back into the number two position ahead of rival, Wendy's. They may even have their sights on industry leader, McDonald's. Unlike their competitors under the golden arches, Burger King says they will target folks in their golden ages.
"A lot of senior citizens have a hard time eating fast food," said Bill Stickers, a spokesman at Burger King's corporate offices. "It has to be chewed and chewed. This is a problem for many who have gaps between their teeth and or ill-fitting dentures. Crunchy foods are especially a pain. We have a solution: The Whopper Senior. Read More
 

UNRESTFUL SPIRITS CAUSED SUPER BOWL POWER OUTAGE

The NFL, Management of the Superdome, and New Orleans' electricity provider, Entergy have not delivered a definitive answer to why the power went out during Super Bowl XLVII, but I have heard from someone who has an explanation. Renowned New Orleans psychic, Madam Sophia LaRoque says that ghosts are responsible.
"The Superdome was built over a graveyard," she told me. "Girod Street Cemetery was there. There are unrestful spirits who felt disrespected, and caused this to get the attention of those who slighted them." Read More

WINDOWS 8 PICTURE PASSWORDS HACKED

Microsoft has heavily advertised a new feature for signing into their new touch screen friendly OS, Windows 8. They call it picture passwords. Instead of typing something, you are presented a pre-chosen picture, and you make finger gestures on it. This might come in handy when you don't have a keyboard, but I have uncovered a problem. Picture passwords are hackable. Read More

NEW GOOGLE TECHNOLOGY WILL READ MINDS

Do you ever want to search for something, but aren't sure how to put it into words? Do Google, Yahoo and Bing spit back off-topic junk every time you try? Google thinks they will have a solution for this problem by around 2015. Their system, if it works, will be able to directly interface the human brain, so you don't have to put it into words.
"People always have something that they would like to know but can't articulate. Let's say you have an image of something in your mind that you saw once, and wonder what it is. Google Mind will be able to see that image in your head, and search for it." Read More

DO NOT LEGITIMIZE "INFOTAIMENT"

There is a commercial airing right now for the Chevrolet Malibu that is so offensive, that I want to throw my shoes at the TV every time I see it. Why? The use of the word, "infotainment". This word is a pejorative describing the content free garbage that the tabloid press and the idiot box pass off as news, not my car stereo with a GPS navigation system or a hands free system for my cell phone crammed into it. Stop saying that. Read More

ANDROID TABLETS ARE A PAIN

I have had an idea for a while now. I need an Android tablet. Apple i-Pads don't do flash, so I wouldn't have the whole Internet, and besides, I'm not a hipster. I can't turn a laptop sideways to read a book or a magazine. That is a pain. An Android tablet seemed like the answer.
Android is not just Android. Apps are routinely compatible with some versions and not others. Even if you have the right version, some manufacturer's tablets will not be supported.
Imagine if this garbage were going on in Windows PCs... 90 percent of new PCs sold would be returned, and their former owners would swear off computers forever. Read More

REBUILD BRENT SPENCE WITH CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP

I was recently in Cincinnati covering the fallout over the fight between the University of Cincinnati and Xavier men's basketball teams, and learned about the plight of the Brent Spence Bridge. In case you didn't know, this behemoth double-decker span carries Interstate 71 and Interstate 75 across the Ohio River between Cincinnati and Covington, Kentucky. Though it was considered a marvel of modern engineering when it was built, it has long carried a lot more traffic than it was ever intended to, and is aging badly. This bridge needs to be replaced, but a lack of funding has prevented it from happening. Interstate 71 runs from Cleveland to Louisville, and Interstate 75 runs from the Canadian border to Key West. The country cannot afford to have these highways severed in the middle of their courses. Read More

 

JUST MAKE SOME CHEESE AND PEPPERONI

I took my grandkids to a pizza buffet the other day, and found nothing they would eat and scant little I would. It blows my mind how something that should be stupidly simple was botched so completely. What kind of pizza do little kids eat? Plain cheese. What kind of pizza do bigger kids and most adults prefer? Pepperoni. Neither of these were available when we arrived. There was one with no sauce, and some garden vegetables. There was one with barbecue sauce and chicken. There were two dessert pizzas, one with a suspicious white sauce, and even one with potatoes on it. I kid you not, potatoes on a pizza!

...Pizza is not a difficult recipe. A simple flour and water crust, a red tomato sauce, Italian cheeses such as mozzarella, parmesan, and maybe some provolone. Toppings when you aren't cooking for the little ones include things like pepperoni, sausage, green peppers, onions, mushrooms, Canadian bacon, olives and little else. Read More

TIME TO UPDATE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

Since it was first written by the Reverend Francis Bellamy in 1892, the Pledge Of Allegiance has been a great way for good Americans to show their devotion to this blessed nation. He wrote it to commemorate the four hundredth anniversary of Columbus' discovery, which made our nation's founding possible. The Pledge has also been a highly effective tool for weeding out undesirables. The original wording was I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. This simple and clear loyalty oath was enough to weed out unrepentant confederates who would divide the country again, as they believed in a voluntary confederation of sovereign states that could secede if they so chose, not one nation, indivisible...

...On June 14, 1954 Congress added the words "Under God". Surely, a godless communist would balk at saying these words, and his refusal would out him as a Soviet sponsored subversive. This wording served us well until recently. Read More.


PERSON OF INTEREST IS PROPAGANDA FOR BIG BROTHER

The government has cameras everywhere, and is watching all the time. We are all under surveillance. Everything we do is seen and everything we say is heard. Does this sound like the description of a place you want to live, or a frightening dystopia? The people behind the TV show, Person Of Interest want you to like this idea, and are producing the show for the express purpose of selling it to you. Why would they do such a thing? Because the government is paying them to.
During the Bush Administration, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) began a program called Total Information Awareness ...There was a public outcry, and Congress defunded the project. The reaction of the FBI, CIA, ATF, FEMA and Pentagon to this rejection of their plans was a public relations campaign to pitch Americans the idea that constant surveillance will protect them from terrorists and criminals, making them safe. Person Of Interest is a key part of this marketing ploy. Read More

WHAT IS THE CLOUD?

Every day, at least one salesman gets through my call screening somehow trying to sell me "the cloud". It is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and without it my company is a dinosaur. That is what they always tell me.
When you try to get one of these sales slicksters to explain what "the cloud" is, they don't know either. You can count on them giving you a made up BS answer, or treating you like a child asking a stupid question. The term conjures up the image of data flying around on wireless networks, eventually finding its way to the Internet, not actually being stored anywhere, but in perpetual motion. It must be some form of black magic that brings data back to you when you ask for it.
Read More

MADAME SOPHIA LAROQUE REPUDIATES NEW ZODIAC

I was curious about the "New Zodiac" and "New Astrology" that has the Internet buzzing lately. Though my managing Editor, M. Grant Winston laughed at me, and I had to plead with him to do this story, I got it done. I went to New Orleans to ask famous seer, Madame Sophia LaRoque what she thought.

"Colleen, my darling, there is nothing new about this so-called new astrology. Sidereal or Eastern Astrology has been around over a century. I do not understand why people want to hear about it all so suddenly." She went on to say, "This thirteenth sign, Ophiuchus or "The Serpent Bearer" has no bearing on people. Feel free to ignore it."

Read More

WAL-MART WANTS TO BANKRUPT THE GIRL SCOUTS

Do you look forward every year to Girl Scout Cookies? I know I do. Tagalongs and especially Thin Mints are irresistibly delicious. I must have them! When some people jokingly refer to Thin Mints as cookie crack, I get it. Wal-Mart is now making rip-offs of those two great cookie recipes. They will be sold under the Great Value line, and will probably be cheaper than the genuine article. Buy them, and the money goes to an evil mega-corporation sending jobs to China, and selling American consumers dangerous and lead-tainted Chinese products, not to a charitable organization that has helped raise our daughters to be good citizens for generations.
Read More

HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS CONFUSED ABOUT MOON LANDING

A poll was recently taken just before the end of the past school year about the upcoming fortieth anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. I met a student who thought he knew about it, and even gave a presentation to his class. He repeated the presentation for me...
"The Moon Landing. Back in the hippie days of the sixties, not everyone was protesting and getting high. We actually put two men on the moon. That was real cool!...Their names were Stretch Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear."
Read More

MAN WINS NCAA OFFICE POOL WITH HELP FROM PSYCHIC

Madame Sophia LaRoque has done it again. A local man came to her shop in New Orleans to get her help filling out an NCAA tournament bracket for his office pool, which would deliver a big prize to the most accurate one. Not only did her predictions win his office pool, but she produced a perfect bracket, a statistical near impossibility! I spoke to "Steve" as I will call him to protect his identity from his office mates who would call him a cheater, and possibly hurt him.

"After reading about her predictions for the year 2008", said Steve, "I had to try asking her to fill out my tournament bracket. She was reluctant at first, but finally agreed at a fee much higher than she usually charges. Although I paid her a lot, it was much less than what I won in the office pool. It really blew everyone's mind at the office. I even got an extra payoff from the boss who bet that no one could fill out a bracket with every single game right."
Read More

If you have uncovered something, let us know. Send e-mail to:
gif of e-mail address
To fight spam, that is not a link. You will have to type it.
Our old address was hijacked by spammers. Please update your address book.

Add a link to THE UNCOVEROR to your site.

Your Ad Here